Teddy Bear

I wake up, and I’m scared to roll over
He’s genius, captivating, and looks a lot like Hercules
That guy that my left butt cheek is touching
I’ve heard him say my name 1,000 times with animation and pleasure
Like the way you give your order to the Starbucks barista when you’re fienin’ at 6AM

I rolled over and his eyes look as dull as he makes me feel
I was his favorite thing, like that old stuffed animal you used to carry around that always made you feel comfortable and safe

I watched him watching me laugh last night and I think I saw his soul glimmer for a second
Then he remembered that I have a vagina
Cause those are fun, especially when you’re inside of one

I heard you laughing at me, not with me
You can do anything you set your mind to
I’ve cheered you on so many times before
That’s pretty crafty of you
The way you can separate your penis from your soul
And the way that you keep telling yourself that I’m a goddess in your bed and your nothing outside of it

I’m sure you fantasize about having your teddy bear and porn star all wrapped up in one
Ready for action
As long as it only wants to play with you when you’re good and drunk
Cause I love being your blow-up doll                                                                                                                                                           Until you remind me that you can pop me so easily and feel me deflate in your arms

But I have more passion in my pinky than I’ll ever see from you
And I am more than my vagina, and a little more exciting than your teddy bear
And, unfortunately, we’re all wrapped up in one

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