I haven’t slept in almost 32 hours (for no particular reason other than the fact that I’m stupid). And I’ve been banned from my sister’s house for awhile because her housekeeper is cleaning and my existence will ruin his process or something. 

So now I”m sitting in this coffee shop outside of my sister’s place. It’s kind of awkward, because I applied to work here a couple of weeks ago and I never heard back. And this coffee shop also had one of those lame ass applications where they ask you “quirky” unconventional questions like… “why do you like coffee?” or “what will set you apart from the other applicants?”. 

Me, being my youngest child, ego-centric, narcissistic self put an entire wikipedia grade biography to answer each of these questions. And now I can’t help but get the feeling that these west coast barista’s noticed my Pittsburgh brand debit card, and have connected the dots. The entire time I’ve been here, I’ve led myself to believe that the head barista has figured me out and has been questioning my mental health because I’ve been loitering here for so long. 

Not to mention, I keep skittishly looking around because 1. I’m sleep deprived and 2. I’m wearing my glasses that I use to disguise myself and my partially obstructed peripheral vision is keeping me on edge. 

I need to go, they’ve definitely figured me out.


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